Being Around Kids All The Time [episode 104]

Kelsey  0:00

You are listening to Episode 104 of wife teacher mommy the podcast being around kids all the time. Do you ever feel like you can’t get away from children whether you teach kids all day and come home to your own children or your homeschool mom who’s always with her own kids, let’s chat about this.

Kelsey  1:00

Welcome to wife teacher mommy the podcast. I’m Kelsey Sorensen, a former elementary teacher and current homeschool mom. And even though I’ve been a resource creator since 2014, I’ve realized that printables alone aren’t all you need in order to thrive as a teacher or homeschool parent. That’s why I also created this show and got certified as a life coach to help you finally kick burnout to the curb and feel competent with whatever challenges come your way. With the right mindset strategies and new teaching inspiration, you’re going to be well on your way to your best teacher life. Now let’s go.

Welcome to the podcast today, my friend, I’m so excited to be here, as always, and today’s actually been a batch recording day and recording a lot of episodes for you today because I am writing a book if you haven’t heard. And the one thing that I want to mention, in case you missed it on other episodes, because I’m also focusing on my book, you might notice that for a while, approximately every other week, we’re going to do an awesome replay of an episode from the archives. And then we’re going to have new content like this episode as well. So I’m not going anywhere, we’re still going to have a new episode for you each week. And I might even get creative with doing some like episode swaps with other people. I want to make sure that the content that you get from this podcast each week is high quality, while also continuing to offer high quality weekly coaching to wife, teacher mommy club members, I need to make sure that stays top notch they are paying me for this. So we’re keeping the coaching going and writing my book and the podcasts, I just want to make sure everything stays top notch. So we are still showing up in your podcast feed each week. But the weekly episodes will be some will be replaced. Some will be new content. And then we might even have some other really fun stuff in here too, as well. So stay tuned, this podcast is still coming to you each week. It’s still amazing. And the episodes from the archives are handpicked ones that I really believe that if you missed it, you’re going to want to listen to it. Honestly, if you’ve listened to all 104 episodes up until this point, and you listen to every single one like good for you. But I honestly bet that most of you if not all of you have not because that is a huge commitment. So don’t write those episodes off. Okay, so today in this brand new episode of brand new content, we are focusing on the experience of those of you who are moms but before we begin to talk about all of this I want to share a an amazing, free opportunity for you that many have already participated in. But most of you probably haven’t. So far I’ve taught a few of these incredible mindset master classes where I’m sharing how I transformed my teacher overwhelmed into balance. It’s kind of like really synthesizing and lots of new information that I share here on the podcast all in one live masterclass, you’ll be able to ask me questions, it’s going to be a really great time and intimate workshop. And I’m teaching it several more times as well. Actually, I’m hoping to be able to start teaching this class weekly, but you do need to attend it live. And there are goodies when you join me live like free resources. When we do it live, there are giveaways. Like it’s just a really, really great time. And I’ll be sharing how you can unlock the secret to finding balance to getting your mindset in tip top shape, and sharing stories about how it has helped other teachers and homeschool parents, just like you. And you will learn so much in this class. Even if you walk away with nothing else. I would love for you to take this chance to attend and join in with me if you love this podcast, you’re going to love this masterclass. And when you join you get two free weeks of social emotional learning for pre K through sixth grade just for signing up for the workshop and joining us so I would really recommend that you join go to wife teacher mommy.com/masterclass and that will take you to where you need to go to sign up for those who find themselves feeling exhausted. You know, you’re just around kids all the time you teach at school all day, come home to your own kids or your homeschool mom, and you’re with your kids all day. Either way you are around children a lot So I want to validate you, I want you to know that I have been there, I felt the same way. I’ve said the same thing to myself. I also want to offer another perspective about ways we can question our perceptions, what are the circumstances of our life situation with our children, and what are our thoughts and where we can really take our power and ownership back in our lives and not be stuck in that, you know, victim mentality of I’m just with kids all the time, my life is so hard, because you know, there’s nothing that benefits us from that, right. So I’m just here to kind of give you a gentle nudge, to appreciate that part of your life more and maybe set some more boundaries, maybe just reframe your mind, it depends on what is going on for you processing those emotions, all those things, I’m going to share different things that we could do around this situation, the circumstance of both teaching children and having children, whatever that looks like for you. Like I said, that is the circumstance part, you do have those things like you do teach children, whether you’re your own or in a classroom, and then you are a parent to children. So they’re things you want to do to take care of them or whatever, and you have both of those things on your list. Now you might also feel like I am with children all the time, I never get a break this never, this is just so much for me. All of that is the story that you’re putting behind it. That’s the perception is that you’re making this mean that you’re making teaching children and having children have. And those are optional thoughts that are making us feel overwhelmed or stressed or feeling like we never get time for ourselves, or whatever. So some common thoughts that might contribute to this is like I’m always around kids, I have no personal time, homeschool moms might even think I can’t escape being away from my kids. If you’re with the same kids all the time, teachers might think that I’m with other people’s kids all day, and I come home to my children too exhausted for my own children. Like Believe me, I’ve heard all of these, I felt all of these, I felt like the feelings that come with all of these right? So I know exactly what you’re talking about. But the first thing I want to do constantly want to teach you is questioning these thoughts. First, are they entirely true? Are there exceptions? So if you’re like, I’m always around kids, I have no personal time. Is that completely true? Do you not get a single out a single minute of personal time? Just question that. And I love this question for not just this but for honestly anything like just asking myself, is it true? Nothing isn’t true that you’re overwhelmed all the time? Are there moments where you feel capable and in control? likely there are times you feel capable and in control, right? So it’s just just noticing what is fat? What is story behind this situation and acknowledging the difference between the two. And I want you to give yourself so much grace for how you’re thinking and feeling about all of this. Because like I’ve mentioned, like I’ve done this, we all do this, give yourself so much grace for how you’re feeling and thinking. And we just want to kind of take a look at this and see what else we might be able to do to kind of reframe that. So here are some potential ideas of ways we could think about this too. So I have the opportunity to engage with kids. And I can also carve out moments for myself to recharge, can we believe that is true? Can we carve out those moments for time to recharge for ourselves? I believe we can. Another one. If you’re one of the homeschool parents, I’m choosing to homeschool and that comes with challenges and rewards, I can find moments to take breaks and prioritize self care. Or for our teacher mamas, I being a teacher and a mom presents challenges, but I am capable of handling them and finding solutions. Now just think how did those options feel to you versus the original one. So I can’t escape being away from my kids, I am always around the kids, I have no personal time, I am so overwhelmed because of all these kids. And remember, if you say I’m so overwhelmed, because of all these kids, you’re not overwhelmed because of the kids, you’re overwhelmed because your thoughts about it right? We know this from the self coaching model that I teach here on the podcast, which is our circumstances are neutral. And it’s our thoughts that create our feelings that drive our actions and create our results at the end of the day. So just kind of think about the difference between these and what is like the thought you could believe about it because we don’t want to just jump to something that you wouldn’t believe and needs to feel believable and realistic for you. Now, these specific thoughts they mentioned at first are what drive those feelings of overwhelm frustration, exhaustion, and some things that happen. Ironically, when we feel exhausted, frustrated and overwhelmed. A lot of times we do things that kind of validate that. So when we’re feeling exhausted, frustrated and overwhelmed, we neglect our self care, we don’t take time to look at ways that we could implement more self care in there. We don’t take time to feel grateful for the children that we teach or that our own children, we don’t take time to have fun with them. We just like you know, we’re in that victim mentality of oh, this is just so hard. So the actions we take are often not helping us when we’re thinking those things. So what I want you to do if you are currently feeling overwhelmed or exhausted or frustrated about being kids all the time first I want you to again, take time to process that emotion first. So that’s where you kind of sit back you feel the feelings of overwhelm stress, you kind of go through your body, but where do I feel it? Is it my chest? Is it in my neck? Is it my jaw, like kind of scan all the way through your body and see how you Feel it. And also you can refer back to Episode 100 of one processing back to school emotions to help with this. And while that one is labeled for back to school, that’s when it came out. No matter when you’re listening to this, that episode will help you process any emotion any time of year. So if you need help with the processing emotions part, be sure to refer back to that episode. So process it feel it because you’re not going to see much process in trying to change it. If you’re in the heat of that emotion. Once we’ve done this, we can kind of think of what we want to do about it, how we want to reframe our mindset about it, and what new actions we want to take that will support us in this. Because when we think other thoughts, we can take other actions like when we just see it in a different way. Like maybe you start a gratitude practice, like a gratitude journal, you can journal a few things that you’re grateful for each day and focus on the positive aspects of this beautiful life that you have of having these children and teaching these children, whether they’re the same children or different children, and honestly, either way, if you have your own children we’re teaching them to is right. So just this incredible opportunity that we have to be with children. And also what you can do is even look at what are some ways that you can make sure your needs are met to because you are important. And I’m going to get to that in the next step too. But also just having compassion for where you currently are, make sure you’re speaking to yourselves kindly, just like you would to a friend. So when you’re facing a challenge with like, having these feelings or whatever, just think this is tough, I’m doing my best. And I’m going to reframe this, I’m going to take these actions, and I know I can do this, I’m doing a great job. Okay, so next we want to look at your own well being this is where we want to really be an active participant in our lives, not just like spectator, like going along with the flow, but realizing that we are in charge of that flow. But if we don’t allow ourselves to take charge, then yeah, we are just at the mercy of whatever our brain offers us and those thoughts and feelings and actions and results, which again, aren’t usually serving us. Usually when we’re thinking thoughts that lead us to feel exhausted, we’re not doing things to take care of ourselves. It’s like that vicious cycle. So when we’re getting into this, let’s think about that job work life balance strategies, boundary setting techniques, and effective time management that you can do. So that you can make sure to build that self care into your lives. Now, I want to make sure that you create that time for yourself, because I do believe that as a mom and a teacher, no matter what capacity you’re in, it matters to have that time period to yourself. Like, I agree with that. And it is something that we can create in our lives as long as we’re intentional about it. For even more about this, you can listen to the podcast episode that is called How to create an intentional schedule and actually stick to it. But I’m going to share a little bit with you about that right now. So really, what we want to do is we want to look at our week and plan it ahead of time and ask ourselves where am I going to put in self care? Is it going to be in the mornings you get up before your kids get up and you do a workout? Or you watch a show? Like it can be whatever you want it to be for that self care? Do you watch the show in the evenings with your spouse? Or do you read a book that you want to read just for fun? Where is it the refitting that in and create that intentionally find that time and then stick to it, have your back on what you say to yourself, and that is going to you know, give yourself more self trust in that, oh, I told myself I was going to do this I did. So then when you are in those moments with your kids, you can remind yourself like, hey, remember, at this time, I get to read my Jane Austen books, or whatever it is that you’re into, I get to read those without any guilt. And that is when I’m going to get to recharge. So no, I’m not the kids all the time, because I’m giving myself this time. So finding those breaks, finding that time where you can have it for yourself. And oftentimes, we think these breaks need to be huge and significant. But sometimes maybe even during the school day, maybe you need a little breather. And maybe that is where you take just like two minutes while your kids are doing independent work to do some deep breathing and recenter yourself. And you can do that even when children are there. When you’re home making dinner, you can, you know, just take some deep breaths while your kids are you know, doing whatever they’re doing. So just even finding little moments for self care makes a huge difference. Another thing is if you have a spouse or partner, I know some of you do not. But if you do, the importance of open communication with them, so that you share the load. I feel like this is very important because sometimes it defaults to the woman in society. That’s just how it is I could definitely talk about that, but I’m not going to. But again, having that open communication between partners, so like the load is divided a bit more so that you have that time, maybe they can support you in giving you some time or whatever. And again, I know that is something that not all of you have. But if you do have that, just having that open communication. My husband is incredible. And we are partners in a team. And that has definitely helped me a lot. So if you have that that is another great option. And another thing you can do is really finding a community of other teachers, moms who share similar challenges, the support and camaraderie that can be found when you find a community where you can just be like, hey, this happened today and you can all validate each other and but you can also like help each other move in the right direction where you’re like, hey, but you know, we’re doing great and maybe have been challenging each other to find time for yourself care and to own your wins and all of that. Building a supportive community can help validate experiences, provide coping strategies and cheer each other on as you try to enjoy your lives

more. Okay, so let’s recap everything we talked about today about our being with kids all the time. So first, we talked about the circumstances of it, and the difference between that and the story that we put behind it. So it’s probably true that you do teach children and you’re with children, and you spend a significant amount of the day with them. You could even put like, if you want to get super specific you can put what amount of time you spend with them. But a lot of the thoughts we have about are optional, like I can’t say escaping from kids. I’m always around kids, we talked about questioning, is that true? Is that completely true? Do you never get moments of a break because usually, it’s not 100% True, like I will say absolutes, like always, never or practically never true. Which is funny, because now I just use one. But and that’s why I said almost never like, you know, they’re not true all the time. Either way. So likely, it’s not completely true. These thoughts you’re telling yourself. So just noticing that just poking holes in that, and seeing how maybe we can think about this a different way can be very helpful. But if you’re really in those motions, you can process them, feel them. And give yourself so much grace along the way of how you’re feeling about this. Because you know, there are things that come up when you’re with kids all the time. And we do need to be intentional about finding that time for ourselves. So just give yourselves all the grace with that. But we talked about how you can have strategies that give you that time to have for yourself. And also how little moments of the day can make all the difference just finding a few minutes. But even during the school day, or even when your kids are around to just do some deep breathing, they’re probably not right next to you talking to you every second of the day. So find those times to take a mindful moment to recenter. It can make all of the difference. The last thing looking for your own well being like we were talking about, and part of that is also seeking out the community of other moms who share similar challenges. And you can even find that with us. We have our free wife, teacher mommy zoo night community where we can discuss all about this. So if you want to hop in to the wife, teacher, mommy unite Facebook group, it is free. We’ll have a discussion thread up where we can discuss this episode talk about being around kids. And again in this episode, I did call it all the time but I want you to question if it really is all the time. So let’s talk about that in the Facebook group. So hop on over to the wife, teacher, mommy C night Facebook group. And also if you’re a Club member, be sure to hop on the next call with us take advantage of that coaching you have we’d love to see you there. And for everybody. I will see you next week and it’s going to be an incredible replay that again I really hope that you don’t ignore because this is one of my favorite interviews I’ve ever done it is with Corinne Crabtree who is one of the top coaches with the Life Coach School. And if you missed this episode before you’re going to want to hear it next week when it comes out and is all about weight loss for teachers and homeschool parents. It is such an incredible interview. So hopefully you’ll check that out and then the following week you’ll have new content episode for me that is all about not comparing yourselves to other teachers okay and if you want some more help getting your mindset in tip top shape whether it’s about this being around your kids all the time, or feelings that you have about back to school or whatever it is. I would love you to join me at our next mindset masterclass it is free. You will learn so much I’ll share how we transform teacher overwhelm into balance, assure her tons of others have done it and how I believe that you can too. I would love to see you there go to wife, teacher mommy.com/masterclass And we will talk on the podcast next week.

Thank you for listening to wife teacher mommy the podcast. If you enjoyed our time together, be sure to hit subscribe so you don’t miss an episode. And if you’re ready to take the next step, I’d love for you to join me face to face of my next free virtual mindset masterclass. In this masterclass, I’ll share my full story of how it transformed my teacher overwhelm and anxiety into balance, authenticity and a true understanding of myself. And the best news, it will work for you too. I’ll break down my five step framework share inspiring stories that will help shift your mindset and you’ll even get to see life coaching in action. You’ll get a free resource and a special opportunity just for joining us and you won’t be able to get this anywhere else. Did I mentioned this masterclass is free, you’ve got nothing to lose. All you need to do is sign up, add it to your calendar and commit to showing up live. Go to wife teacher mommy.com/masterclass to sign up or head to the link in the show notes. I will see you at the master class.